Saturday, March 15, 2008

"Lake Front Task Force" Dissed by Super Friends

posted by chicago pop

Aquaman allegedly tells Sharonjoy A. Jackson to "go jump in the lake"

Anything with a name like "Lake Front Task Force" -- headed by Sharonjoy A. Jackson -- sounds like it should be renting a room for free at the Super Friends' Hall of Justice. Either that or doing really nasty things for the CIA in the the boiler room of Sharonjoy's high-rise. The goals of the Lake Front Task Force (LTF), in fact, are much more modest, and have to do with obtaining official recognition as neighborhood super heroes so they can bust up all the pimpin' over at Bar Louie.

Super Friends Hall of Justice (design by Aaron Cook)

Superman has apparently deleted Sharonjoy's formal superhero application, though he refused to comment for this story, leaving it to Aquaman to set us straight on just where Jackson stands with the Super Friends team. Aquaman rolled his eyes when informed of Jackson's request for a Super Friends-refereed mud-wrestling showdown between Jackson and nemesis 5th Ward Alderman Leslie A. Hairston, who has not applied for super hero status.

Jackson's super hero application, if granted, would have awarded her the power to assemble groups of more than 6 people, and to cryogenically freeze the 5th Ward Alderman, by magically shaking her booty at any community meeting, for possible resuscitation at a future point in time.

A copy of Jackson's application, anonymously leaked to HPP, detailed background information that Jackson felt qualified her to be an East Hyde Park Superhero. Much of this information has been made available in past issues of the Hyde Park Herald, or uttered in public at various community meetings.

Sharonjoy, who is a "registered voter," (Hyde Park Herald, March 12, 2008) has "$100 in her pocket" (November 2007 Co-Op Town Hall meeting), though she's worried that if she keeps it there she'll be jumped by all the crack-heads hanging out in front of Bar Louie. She schedules meetings during winter snowstorms that keep the people in her building from taking the elevator to come to the meetings because it's snowing out. She thinks Hyde Park has a lot of non-chain, local businesses that are threatened (count 'em!) by capitalism, and finds East-Hyde Park city-living to be "bucolic," that is, like the countryside in that it includes rustics and bumpkins, but does not include shepherds and pooping goats.

Sharonjoy Jackson: "Residents do not need to be persecuted!"

But most of all, she really likes the Herald: "We believe the Herald, its editor and staff, have an outstanding history of dealing with community issues and supporting the needs and interests of community residents (thank you)."

Whatever the Super Friends might think, I'm sure we can all agree on this last one.


Zig & Lou said...

"non-chain, local businesses that are threatened by capitalism"


Anonymous said...

This is so hilarious that I just choked on a mouthful of delicious fresh-squeezed orange juice I bought at Treasure Island Saturday.

Sharonjoy is my favorite local crank. Every time she opens her mouth or puts pen to paper, it's guaranteed entertainment.

rdb said...

Now don't you go dissin' my superfriends! Especially since the Hall of Justice was probably designed by Alex Toth, one of the greatest illustrators of the 20th century--here's a random cool example:

The HoJ was likely based on this very cool real building:

Needless to say, I would pay real money to see a building inspired by the Hall of Justice dropped onto Harper Court.

chicago pop said...

Wow. I've been to the old Cincinnati rail terminal many times (it's now a museum complex). Great Depression-era murals inside. I seem to recall pro cycling criteriums being held on the oval loop drive out in front. I can see Superman wanting an office there.

Yes, some audacious retro-deco masterpiece would be a nice addition to Harper Court, help give the neighborhood a little more muscular architecture (to go with all that superhero spandex and those cartoon pectorals).

Certainly a contrast to the Roman piazza currently under review...

dan said...

hey hyde park progress authors,

love your work. is it possible for you to start an RSS feed?

chicago pop said...

dan: thanks for the kind word. Setting up a feed is a good idea; I'll look into it.

Richard Gill said...

FYI, you can actually ride a train, three days a week, to the Cincinnati Union Terminal. Amtrak gets you there in a swift eight-and-a half-hours, and drops you off at three o'clock in the morning. In fairness to Amtrak, I will acknowledge that it's an overnight Chicago-Washington train, and they can't hit every stop at convenient hours.

I think both the Hall of Justice and the train station are rather totalitarian-looking. But what do I know? I have been accused of having the aesthetic sensibilities of a toad.

chicago pop said...

Now Richard, just because Albert Speer drew up designs for buildings in Berlin that look similar to the Cincinnati rail terminal, let's not judge all monumental deco architecture to be totalitarian.

I think it rather resembles an old-timey radio, the kind that used to be as big as a washing machine.

Richard Gill said...


This is why I, of the aesthetic sensibilities of a toad, have a personal rule that keeps me out of discussions about aesthetics. Nonetheless, since I've already broken my rule in this instance, let me state that I think the front of the building looks like Darth Vader in pastels.