Sunday, April 11, 2010

Church for Sale! (The Sequel)

posted by richard gill & chicago pop

Community Message Board --or--
Most Effective Known Way to Communicate to 5th Ward Alderman Leslie Hairston

Chicago Pop's April 5 post on Hyde Park Progress elicited a number of comments, some of which speculated on re-uses for the St. Stephen's Church property. Based on an April 10 walk-by, I am adding "community message board" and "white elephant dropoff" to the list (see photos). In place of whatever it is the nearby NIMBYs want to stop, maybe they'd prefer these.

Neighbor-Approved Re-Use of St. Stephens Property:
Old Junk Freecycle Station

Also, for those interested in purchasing the property, you can find its listing here, and for your convenience we reproduce it below WITH EDITORIAL REMARKS IN PARENTHESES:

BANK OWNED! Many options and opportunities to revitalize former church building in Hyde Park. Property sits on 100 x 150 sized lot (NEXT TO REALLY WACKY LOCAL FOLKS -- JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE :-> ). Land was rezoned to RM-6 for residential development. No alley access (BUT LOCAL TEENS CAN HELP US GET IN THROUGH THE ROOF), Blackstone is oneway going North. Please daylight showings only (BECAUSE AT NIGHT THE PLACE IS DAMN SCARY AND WE MAY DIE).

Agent Remarks: Bank owned property, agent needs to w/questions (AND BE PREPARED TO KISS ALDERMAN HAIRSTON'S A*S LIKE EVERYONE ELSE EVEN ANTHEUS)

Located on the mid-southside anchored by the University of Chicago, nearby communities Woodlawn and North Kenwood. A stones throw to the southwest shoreline (OR TO THE UPPER WINDOWS OF THE PROPERTY IF ANY GLASS IS LEFT IN THEM) of Lake Michigan and Lake Shore Drive. Easy public transport, Metra 2 blocks away. (SPECTACULAR GREEK-AMERICAN EATERY RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET BUT YOU ALSO GET A GOOD VIEW OF THEIR DUMPSTERS)

  • $1,700,000
  • 13,300 SF
  • $127.82
  • Special Purpose
  • Religious Facility
  • Vacant/Owner-User
  • Yes
  • 2.5%
  • 15,000 SF
St. Stephens Freecycle Station, Detail


David Farley said...

It's actually not my birthday, Richard, but thanks.

Elizabeth Fama said...

What are these people thinking?! Call Streets and San for a bulk pick-up like the rest of us, please. Or use Craig's List if you want to give broken sleeper sofas away for free.

chicago pop said...

Good timing on this post -- we've just ordered a new sofa and will need to get rid of the old one.

Now I know where to dump it.


Greg said...

I'm sorry but the idea of people dumping their junk in front of that place is hilarious to me. On the other hand, maybe someone could just move it up onto the stoop of the place and kick back with some Red Man, a spitoon and a big old fleabitten hound.