posted by chicago pop
Aquaman allegedly tells Sharonjoy A. Jackson to "go jump in the lake"Anything with a name like "Lake Front Task Force" -- headed by Sharonjoy A. Jackson -- sounds like it should be renting a room for free at the Super Friends' Hall of Justice. Either that or doing really nasty things for the CIA in the the boiler room of Sharonjoy's high-rise. The goals of the Lake Front Task Force (LTF), in fact, are much more modest, and have to do with obtaining official recognition as neighborhood super heroes so they can bust up all the pimpin' over at Bar Louie.
Superman has apparently deleted Sharonjoy's formal superhero application, though he refused to comment for this story, leaving it to Aquaman to set us straight on just where Jackson stands with the Super Friends team. Aquaman rolled his eyes when informed of Jackson's request for a Super Friends-refereed mud-wrestling showdown between Jackson and nemesis 5th Ward Alderman Leslie A. Hairston, who has not applied for super hero status.
Jackson's super hero application, if granted, would have awarded her the power to assemble groups of more than 6 people, and to cryogenically freeze the 5th Ward Alderman, by magically shaking her booty at any community meeting, for possible resuscitation at a future point in time.
A copy of Jackson's application, anonymously leaked to HPP, detailed background information that Jackson felt qualified her to be an East Hyde Park Superhero. Much of this information has been made available in past issues of the Hyde Park Herald, or uttered in public at various community meetings.
Sharonjoy, who is a "registered voter," (Hyde Park Herald, March 12, 2008) has "$100 in her pocket" (November 2007 Co-Op Town Hall meeting), though she's worried that if she keeps it there she'll be jumped by all the crack-heads hanging out in front of Bar Louie. She schedules meetings during winter snowstorms that keep the people in her building from taking the elevator to come to the meetings because it's snowing out. She thinks Hyde Park has a lot of non-chain, local businesses that are threatened (count 'em!) by capitalism, and finds East-Hyde Park city-living to be "bucolic," that is, like the countryside in that it includes rustics and bumpkins, but does not include shepherds and pooping goats.
Sharonjoy Jackson: "Residents do not need to be persecuted!"But most of all, she really likes the Herald: "We believe the Herald, its editor and staff, have an outstanding history of dealing with community issues and supporting the needs and interests of community residents (thank you)."
Whatever the Super Friends might think, I'm sure we can all agree on this last one.
