Thursday, September 6, 2007

Ghost of Leonid Brezhnev Seen Shopping at Co-op

Several shoppers and Co-op stock-persons reported seeing the ghost of this man lingering in the produce section of the Hyde Park Co-op earlier this week.

While witnesses did not initially suspect that they were dealing with a poltergeist, a Lab School history teacher (who asked to remain anonymous) insisted that the individual in question must indeed be a ghost.

The specter, who appeared to be enjoying himself, was identified as former General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, Leonid Illyich Brezhnev (1906-1982). He was seen carefully examining the beets and looking warily at the kiwis.

When approached by a Herald reporter, Brezhnev's ghost was open and chatty. "I feel at home here," Mr. Brezhnev stated. "The produce is dubious, the lines are long, and the whole outfit is heavily indebted to outside capitalists. It all just takes me back."

Mr. Brezhnev's ghost declared that he had noted the recent Herald article blaming $840,000 in Co-op arrears on departed General Manager Carl Waggoner.

"It's always important to blame the previous regime," Mr. Brezhnev insisted.

Mr. Brezhnev confessed to haunting the Co-op for several decades since his demise in 1982.

8 comments:

curtsy said...

I swear I saw Chairman Mao swimming off the Point...

James said...

You should always entertain the notion that the Herald may not have gotten the quote exactly right. I can personally verify that such is the case here.

J/tati said...
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curtsy said...

http://www.wellesley.edu/Polisci/wj/China/CRSongs/sailingtheseas.html

Elizabeth Fama said...

When I used to shop at the Co-op, I'd routinely ask Rahn if there was any more of a certain produce item in the back, and he'd bring me a batch that was clearly fresher. I can't say that he was deliberately storing the good stuff back there because he was waiting for the old stock to go, but this happened many, many times. Perhaps he was just slow in getting the new stock out.

I'm a Bonne Maman-aholic, too. University Market sells Bonne Maman (with a good selection) for about $3.49 per jar, and if you buy a case (don't know if it's 6 or 12 jars) they'll give you a discount that may be equivalent to your 2/$6. I buy Manchego cheese by the wheel at UM for $7.99 cheaper per pound than the Co-op's price.

J/tati said...
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chicago pop said...

The Mao link provided by curtsy above is pretty funny, I have to say. HP is quite a haunted place!

J/Tati, a little business research on the side: I used to frequent Pastoral up on Broadway when I lived in Lakeview/LP. Not long after moving to HP, the first wedge of Spanish cow purchased chez Co-op was moldy. If there's an entrepreneur out there who is interested in opening a branch of Pastoral, I bet there would be a market!

SR said...

Anybody know what happened to Chalet? They always seemed to have a nice fancy cheese selection, not that I know that much about your fancy cheeses.